Of Raindrops and Butterflies
by justonelastregret
Summary: Zack Martin doesn't like a girl with a lot of baggage but when Mira Gray comes on board he soon finds him self in way over his head.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Some of you might have read this before so if it seems a little familiar that's why. I posted the first chapter back in July but I took it down to do some editing. I'm going to try to update normally but try to bear with me. Anyway hope you enjoy. **

I stared at Tyler in disbelief. He was wrong; he had to be. Cassie couldn't be dead. She was fine twelve hours ago, she was fine now.

"I'm sorry Mira," he whispered as he backed away from me and towards the door. He backed away like I had some kind of infectious disease. Like if he stayed near me for too long he'd be the next one in the coroner's office. Some friend.

I slowly bent over and picked my phone off the ground by my feet. For some reason I didn't call Cassie. Maybe I already knew she wouldn't pick up. Instead I called Avery. She lived across the street from Cassie. If anything had happened she would have seen the ambulance.

She picked up on the first ring like she was waiting for me to call. "Mira, I'm so sorry," she said quietly. "It was an overdose. Her parents found her a little over two hours ago."

I didn't say anything. How was I supposed too? My entire world had shattered into a billion little pieces and nothing I could do would piece it back together again.

Cassie Hall was dead.

"Do you need me to come over?"

I licked my lips trying to get them wet enough to form words. "No. I'll be fine."

"Are you sure?

No, I really needed a friend right now. "Yeah, I'm sure. Bye Avery." I hung up the phone and collapsed onto my bed.

Dead. Cassie Hall was dead.

**{xXx}**

I stared at the iPod in front of me. More specifically at the newest playlist on Cassie's iPod. Mira's playlist.

I shouldn't have surprised me that she had made a playlist for me but at the same time it did. She cared that much for me just three days before she died. I opened the file and scrolled through the songs. They were just all the songs that we both loved but it meant a lot to me.

At the bottom the bottom of the playlist was another folder simply titled Diary. That made me stop. I never knew that Cassie kept a diary. In the twelve years we knew each other she never once mentioned anything about a diary. Never.

I made sure the headphones were hooked up and clicked on the first entry.

"May 18th 2009." Over one year before she killed herself. "I want to keep this record of myself. For Mira. And maybe for Kali, I honestly don't know." Why would she keep a diary for Kali?

"Today was the big birthday party during lunch. Pizza. And cake. And non-diet soda. And all of our friends gathered around one of the tables in the courtyard. It was hard, it was so hard, to force myself to eat two slices of pizza. And to eat a slice of cake. And to have a glass of non-diet soda.

"But I did it. And I tried so hard not to throw it up afterwards. But I couldn't do that. Even for Mira.

"Mira. She doesn't know and I don't want her to. I wonder how she would react if she knew that I starve myself just to be perfect for Kali. For her little sister. She'd probably kill me."

I stared at the iPod in my hands. She was in love with my little sister. Kali was the reason that she starved herself. Kali was the reason she cut herself. And Kali was probably the reason she was dead.

Cassie was in love with my little sister.

I hugged my knees to my chest and gazed out the airplane window.

Cassie was in love with her.

I wonder what the man sitting next to me was thinking. Did he know that I was listening to my dead best friend's voice as she told me about her screwed up love life from beyond the grave? What was he thinking about as my shattered world broke into even smaller pieces?

What were my parents thinking about as their eldest daughter flew to Miami to attend a sea school because they didn't know how to deal with her? Were they thinking about me at all? What was Kali thinking? Did she have any idea the Cassie might be dead because of her? What was Brent, the over protective big brother thinking? What were all my friends thinking? Were they glad that their best friend hadn't died? Were they glad that their parents didn't send them away as an alternative to therapy?

_I think I'm going to be sick._

Cassie was in love with Kali.

And I never figured it out.

A/N: Not all of the chapters will be this dramatic, but it had to get started somewhere. Tell me what you think and since I'm just going back and editing, the next chapter will probably be up later today.


	2. Chapter 2

Getting off the plane and onto the ship was a complete blur. It was just too much for me to handle so I simply blocked it out. I had a nice roommate named Kathryn. She wasn't a lot like me, which was good, but we were enough alike that we wouldn't constantly be butting heads. Also good.

I had also asked the manager if there was a dance studio and a dark room. I was in luck, there was. On the plane I had decided that I wasn't going to give up dance and photography for anything. Even Cassie. So I had those distractions.

And, because my parents decided to enroll me so late, school was already in session and had been for two weeks. That left me with a lot of make-up work that I had to do. Thankfully, this also added to my schedule. I would have no time to think about Cassie and no time to think about the diary. And that was fantastic.

Thinking about all these distractions (and not Cassie), I grabbed my book bag and headed to the sky deck to get started on my homework. I still wasn't very enthusiastic about it but… distraction. I tossed my bag on one of the tables by the juice bar and pulled out my French textbook. Since my grandmother was _from_ France I had grown up hearing it on a weekly basis and it hardly came as a challenge anymore.

By the time I was almost done with the first lesson the guy working the juice bar spotted me through the horde of girls surrounding him. _It must be fun to be that hot._ I absentmindedly thought to myself as he made his way over to me.

"What can I get for the cutest girl on the boat?" He was attractive. Cocky, but still attractive. The kind of guy that you couldn't trust in a relationship but you wanted to anyway. But I didn't come here to meet cute guys.

"A tangerine smoothie? And my name's Mira," I said raking my hands through my hair. I had a really bad habit of doing that.

"A pretty name for a pretty girl. My name's Zack."

"Hey," I said in acknowledgment. "And just so you know, flattery won't get you anywhere yet."

"We'll see," he said, walking away to, presumably, make my smoothie. _Yep, very arrogant_, I though in confirmation to my earlier though. I couldn't stand people like that. They were good to look at but that was it.

You know the saying 'speak of the devil'? As soon as I had that thought a group of girls walked over to me. You could tell that they were the _IT_ girls. The girls that thought they were supreme, and no one said otherwise.

The blonde in the middle stood right in front of me with her hands on her hips. I had to fight back a laugh. This was like something out of one of the bad chick flicks Cassie and I use to love making fun of. "What the hell do you think you're doing," she hissed glaring at me.

I looked up at her with a look of innocence to make an angel proud. "Sitting in a chair, is that not allowed?"

"Listen here bitch. I'll let you off with a warning since it's you first day, but Zack is my boyfriend and no new girl is going to change that. Understood?"

I could tell that she was thinking of ways to kill me but I was having so much fun. "Hmm, if I ask Zack is he going to say you two are dating?" Probably, but it's worth a shot.

"Of course not, he likes to play the field-"

"So you're not good enough for him?" At that point she lunged for me. Not that I blamed her, I would have done the same thing.

Zack must have been watching our little 'chat' from a save distance because as soon as she reached out to slap me he yanked her off of me. I couldn't quite make out what he said but she and her silent crew stalked away after that.

"Thanks," I said as he sat my smoothie on the table, "how much for that?"

"It's on me. Least I could do after the psycho ex meltdown."

"You sure?" So they weren't together. Not anymore at least. I was concerned about why that made me happy.

"Never turn down free drinks."

"I'll keep that in mind," I said taking a sip of my smoothie.

"So… you, me date tonight?" And here comes the cocky again. At least it was in the form of an almost question unlike all the times that David asked me out.

"I'm not really dating right now." For some reason I didn't think he could be so easily swayed but it never hurts to try.

"Well then how about a tour guide. No one knows the ship better than I do." Yeah, I was right.

"You're not going to give up are you?" I asked, a smirk playing at the edge of my mouth.

"Nope."

"Alright, but as friends only. And if you try anything you will be thrown overboard without a life preserver."

"I'll keep that in mind. Pick you up at nine-thirty," he said before walking back over to the juice bar. Turning back to my French book I just had one thought: this was so not Davis High.

**Author's Note: And the next chapter. Thanks to PurpleLover2012 for commenting. The next chapter will probably be out tomorrow but after that I'm not sure. Hopefully I'll have it out by Friday but no promises. Feel free to favorite or leave a comment. **


	3. Chapter 3

I stared at the clock on the wall in the dance studio. I had an hour and a half to have something to eat and get ready for my 'tour' with Zack. I was really starting to have second thoughts about this but I refused to hole up in my room while I was traveling across the globe. So I put a smile one my face, grabbed my bag, and walked out the door.

After wondering around for a little less than twenty minutes trying to find the pizza place on the plaza deck, I decided that I really did _need_ a tour. I was just about to admit my incompetence and ask for directions when a girl with light brown hair walked over to me. "Um, do you need any directions?"

Okay, so I wasn't being very inconspicuous about being lost. Dang. "Yeah, how do I get to the plaza deck from here?"

"Take the elevator three floors up. And the elevators are down the hall to the left. I'm Bailey by the way."

"Mira," I said as I followed her to the elevators.

"Are you a new student here?" she asked as she pressed one of the buttons on the control panel.

"Yeah, I just got here today."

"That's a little late isn't it?"

So tact wasn't her strong suite. Or she's just really naive. "Yeah, it was kind of a last minute thing." Yeah, my best friend just died a few weeks ago. Nothing big. It wasn't her fault though. Most people didn't think of things like that so I won't blame her.

After that she let the subject drop so maybe she wasn't that tactless after all. Anyway, once we got off the elevator she went off to talk to some people. I wondered around for another five minutes trying to find the pizza parlor. But it wasn't my fault. That was a big boat and I am only one person.

Finally I found it. It was right next to the elevator. Go figure. Anyhow, I eventually got my dinner and I still had time to get ready for my tour. And that's all it was. Just a tour, not a date. Even if Kathryn was convinced otherwise.

{xXx}

"You just got here and you're already going on a date with Zack Martin. How did you manage that?" Kathryn asked, swinging her legs from her desk.

I tossed my head back in annoyance. "I am not going on a date with Zack. He is just giving me a tour. That is all." I was trying to get ready for my tour and she had been nagging me for half an hour. I was understandably starting to get frustrated.

"Yeah, at nine thirty at night when he just got done working a five hour shift. Sounds like he likes you."

"Kathryn, for the eighteenth hundred time this is not a date. This is him being nice because he wants to get in my pants. I did not come here to date and I did not come here to get laid. He is just being my tour guide for the night. That is it. Nothing romantic at all, okay?" I ranted pulling

my skirt on and yanking the straps over the t-shirt underneath.

"Alright, alright. Anyway, I got to go now; Bailey's going over my pre-cal homework. I'll see you tonight," she said hopping off the desk. "Oh by the way, I want details on your tour."

I glared at her while pulling my hair up. "There will be nothing to tell."

"Uh-huh, sure. Bye now!" I groaned and flopped down on my bed. Who the hell was I trying to kid, I had a date with the ship's player. I rolled over and looked at the alarm clock on my desk. I was all ready and I still had half an hour left. Fantastic.

I sat up and grabbed Cassie's iPod out of my bag. Would one more diary entry really be that bad? The little voice of reason in my head was screaming 'yes' but I had a problem with listening to that voice. So I put my head phones on and clicked on the second entry.

"May 30th 2009." My breath caught, she was crying. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I know you probably won't hear this for a while, if ever but…. I- I slept with Jason. I just… I was drunk and I wanted to know what you were always going on about…. Mira, I am so sorry. And I am just so damn pathetic for not telling this to your face.

"I feel like shit. I can't believe that I did that. I'm so sorry." By this point she was in hysterics and I was crying too. I wasn't even sure what I was crying about. Cassie, Jason, Kali, my family shipping me off to this sea school, not going to her funeral, all the mistakes I made, all the things I should have told her and didn't, all the things I could have done to help her, a little bit of everything.

I took of my headphones and tossed them on to the bed. This was a great way to start a date. I stood up and made my way back to the bathroom, I had mascara dripping down to my chin. Yuck. Just after I put my make-up bag back into the drawer there was a knock on the door. Talk about great timing.

I slipped my shoes on and opened the door and there was Zack. With flowers. Impressive. "For you," he said holding them out.

"Do friends give friends flowers?" Yes, I was still trying to fool myself into the friend thing. It wasn't working so well.

"The cheap plastic kind's fair game." At least that's better than the real kind, although they don't die… so not really.

"Well thank you then," I said taking the flowers and dropping them on my dresser. "Shall we go now?"

He held his arm out to me. "We shall."

Author's Note: I don't really like this chapter but I don't think it's going to get a lot better. Anyway, the next chapter's their date :D Tell me what you think about it? I'm still aiming to have it out on Friday but again, no promises.


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